Dear Lucifer,
Thank you for the past 17 years of my life we've spent together. It was great but I have to leave you. Do you remember when I always looked for reassurance in relationships like, Baby tell me you need me or please tell me you love, just because I needed to hear it. But now I know not from you, from him. The only man to lay his life not on the line but on a cross, cross my heart and pray on bruised knees and bleed tears from blind eyes because I was afraid to see the shame in the reflection from the rain God wept to let me know he's hurt too. Since he's a man that never lied, I aiming to be a woman that always tells the truth, so listen. I remember the first time we met. You took the form of a mother and you placed to weight of the world on my pre-pubescent body, I cracked. At the age of 9, you told me that I was a woman now and I’d have to defend myself. Discouragement fell from your lips like the walls of Jericho and that was the first time you broke my spirit. I was raised with a hate so strong we grew closer. By the age of 12 you took the form of a man and you hugged my body so tight I had mistaken you for Christmas sweaters. Daddy said that this was only supposed to be between husband and wife, so I pushed you away. That was the first time I told you no. One year later, you turned into my first love and you told me that we'd grow old together. After we separated, you turned my womb into a tomb and I figured that you were all I had so I made tally marks across my skin to count the days we spent together. I was certain that this is where I needed to be. I finally grew up and you explained the luxury of college. Me living on my own is what I needed and I'd succeed in anything I wanted to be. We made plans for bright futures with no dull moments. There was no looking back. Then one day, you took the form of a senior advisor and told me that you didn't see the end that you promised but I knew promises were made to be broken, so I’m breaking the promise I made you 17 years ago that binded me to the world from birth where I showered in sin and hid from God since he knew what was right. But doing wrong felt so right so I confided in you. But all you ever did was kill spirits and break bodies and crush unborn dreams so they couldn't awaken the dead soul and wounded flesh you have made of me. I will no longer fall victim to I love yous with warm embraces in cold arms. No longer search for kisses from dead lips, you no longer complete me. But I got a man now and they call him Jesus. He is a stronger force then you could ever match up to so I dare you try him. Not tryna sound clichéd but you lost a good thing and you lost a soul because I believe in him now. So once again thank you for the past 17 years of hell you put me through because heaven never looked so much brighter.
Sincerely,
Your Lost Love
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